I was never going to be a smart aleck on the HG page in the beginning. I admit I am politically un-correct, but I am generally a nice guy until pushed. Most of you on the HG page are super.

This story is what I was given in life. I acted accordingly with what I knew at the time. I won’t go on Oprah, nor do I cry the blues. It is not right or wrong, rather, just how it was. The purpose is to make people aware that we should not do some of these things to others.

Besides, if we can’t laugh at our embarrassing moments there is something wrong.

I have seen a lot of my family life in others, when I was at HG. I know we all make mistakes. “But don’t forgive that Anti-Christ, George Karlsen, he’s the one going to hell, not me”. Cool.

Ok, so I had troubles as a kid. I used to wet my pants in the first grade, pick at my upper lip in third and fourth grade due to nerves, from the Ukie side of the family. Mrs. Steciw really understood and that is why I think fondly of her. Her early influence stuck with me. Yet in church my Ukie family all acted just so wonderfully pious. My mother threatened to leave home when my dad got home from work from second to fourth grade – it was "George's fault”. My mother was a Valium addict in the third and fourth grade, blaming me. My mother had an affair with the guy across the street when I was 10 – 11 saying I “caused it”. My mother was certifiable. My grandmother was just evil, always blaming me for how she herself had to act when I was around her. According to them I was nothing but embarrassing to them and at such a young age to boot.

As a kid I was very innocent. I really wanted to fit in and thought that I would have a nice Ukranian wife, going to HG Church and having my kids go to school at HG. I didn’t have engagement rings in HG or one particular girl in mind, so you girls were really all safe and 99% were pretty. And not one of you ladies missed out on anything with me. I didn’t even have a date with a Ukranian girl until 1992 (my one and only), and she was from New York State. It lasted two months, my choice to end that one. Most of you married well it seems – that’s great!

My girlfriends were mostly from Brookhaven Juniour High, Our Lady of Charity, Beach Haven, and one Brookhaven girl from St. Hedwig. In fact, I didn’t ‘learn’ about sex and girls until 1972 until after 8th grade, and that started in Beach Haven. Sure I may have dated a lot, but it wasn’t about ‘just making love’. It was about the day after making love, of wanting to enjoy the day with that special girl. I never argued or became violent I just walked away, when I felt ‘confined’ to some pre-conceived plan. When I started hearing, “George, you are a wonderful guy, you just need to change your hair, clothes, and music taste”, I thought, “what is it that you do like about me”? I never wanted to make a girl change or to change her, just live and let live together. I expected the same.

My parents had a friend, who was a (gorgeous) widow at 60. I was 15 or 16. So she offers me a highball, and then offers herself. I sit there, drink another highball, and then say “bye”. See, it isn’t about making love only.

And then, as a kid, I would get hollered at for things that I did months or years ago, when it didn’t even concern the person doing the griping. That came up in relationships many times. I hate that to this day.

But of course, when I needed a favour, the Ukie family would passively and aggressively say ‘yes”, and then not do it when push came to shove for me. Of course I wouldn’t be forgiven when I failed to do something. But that’s different. And that pattern came up a lot in relationships many times also. Just blow George off, no big deal.

My mother literally broke up my first marriage by herself when she visited (way too much). That was her plan, as she had the stupidity to tell a few of my neighbours. I worked hard in Atlantic City and man, the stuff that she would do behind the scenes, to my first wife and her family. For instance the day my boy was born, 9 September 1983, I was also in the labour room for 36 hours. And my mother just started insulting, cursing, accusing, with a very nasty attitude, my wife and her family, when she got there. Of course my ex moved to Florida in 1986 with her parents where she still continues to live with them. They are in their mid 80’s. She just couldn’t leave home. In a way, I don’t blame her in her case.

I’m still learning about girls through my second wife. I love her. I love having coffee in the morning with her.

Anyway, by the time I was 12 I was anti-God due to the things I saw. If that is how people behaved worshipping “that god”, I wanted out. Besides, I was told “Idi do peklo, dorna schvieenya paskoodna” many times and I figured, “if that’s all there is, I might as well have fun”. I got told many times, “GOD will not forgive you”. So, I figured if HE wasn’t going to forgive me for the small things I did and send me to hell anyway, I might as well go for the BIG things.

I didn’t go to many Holy Ghost Church services in high school. I drank pretty regularly from 1974 (I was 15) until 1998. My father was lied to about a lot of things I didn't do. He died on 22 September 1976. That was a lifetime ago.

I left SE Pa. In February 1977, came back for maybe three visits until 1990. I bothered nobody in SE Pa. But boy, what I found out after my mother was buried in 1990! I was still on the HG roster as a parish member and contributor. The ‘family’ was still giving church envelopes in my name, and making excuses. My mother’s obituary was a lie. It stated that I was still married and living happily, with us all together in Beach Haven. This was written in 1990, yet my first wife had been in Florida since 1987. Even my mother’s obituary was a stinking lie, just like the life she tried to present. I didn’t write it. My grandmother wanted me to tell people that the reason the “baby and wife weren’t at the funeral was because the baby was sick”. I wouldn’t do it. They hated my first wife with a passion, and I swear to ALMIGHTY GOD, for no reason.

My mother’s mother then files suit against me in Media Court, because I gave my mothers old dresses (two sizes too BIG for Anna Bugajewski) to a rescue mission. The judge comes into the courtroom and says, “why are we here? Case dismissed”. That ended ALL of that. I was finished with those greed mongers.

You may remember the ‘garlic and spaghetti sauce on pyrohi’ story. I was just trying to make a nice conversation with a lady worker, telling her that I enjoyed the pyrohi served in a different way, and I end up getting a bunch of crap. That’s par for the course.

The other story occurred at my mom’s viewing. I never met him before this, but the rector priest in May 1990 (I don’t remember his name), came to me at the viewing and DEMANDED $200 to do the service right now then and there, BBBAAAMMM, he knew I had cash in my pocket. I thought, “okay, all bets are down, no holds barred, take your best shot, punk priest”. I didn’t like him. That greedy creep didn’t even offer any condolences, nor shake my hand, nothing. Once again I get a bunch of crap. Explain to me what I did wrong there after being away for 13+ years?

On the Old Chester HG page I figured, let bygones be bygones. Obviously some of you are still the same. I think that is sad. Sure I saw and heard a lot of nastiness as a kid at HG, always being constantly told I was bad and wrong. I have posted my nice memories – these are the total and real ones. I used to go out to Brookhaven and have good times away from the house. No wonder I couldn’t wait to get out of Mass.

I’ve moved on – HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW? I am not some wimp victim of the abuse that Myron (O.S.B.M. - anything with the letters “B” & “O” in it bother me, that skank stunk) and those others gave. How dare people treat innocent children, as we all were then, as they did? However, if I knew then what we all know now I would have lied, went to Mr. Cross from the Brookhaven Police and said “Sister touched me here”. I would also have about 5 million dollars out of the Arch Bishops office.

Myron? That beast. I would like to visit her grave. I would take along two 6 packs of Coca Cola, drink them, and just wait. Figure that one out.

My mom conned my dad into donating my grand pop’s 1963 black Studebaker Lark to Myron, when my nana Helga died in 1969. Myron showed her gratitude by wailing on me a lot. When Myron had the Studebaker totaled, my mom was upset because Myron didn’t have the decency to call and tell her. “There you go, Irene, did the light bulb go on yet”? It didn’t.

Of course, some Fridays I would get picked up from school, and we would go to Penn Fruit to shop. My mother hands Myron a lot of $5 bills in those days, and Myron would be there every time, telling my mother that I am “a good boy”, right after I got wailed on that day. I was too terrified then because, “Sister wouldn’t hit you”. Yeah, right.

But when my mother’s mother saw my cousin get his hair yanked, in front of her while making pyrohi, she went off on Myron. They finally believed me, but by then it was too late.

That is what I came from when I think about much of Holy Ghost. It all goes together – my relationships, attitudes, tastes in life and music. It all stems from those formative years. None of the above is a sad story to me. It’ s only what it was.

So now to the present, I’ve really done okay. I’ve been smiling more and more since the summer of ’72, when I got out of the eighth grade. This is typical of how strangely cool life can be:

I am on a Greyhound bus no less in October 2003, and meet a girl in Minneapolis, Minn. on her way to Billings, Montana. We had a great 20 hours of conversation. No, it wasn’t ‘love at first sight’, and she suggested twice that we exchange emails, addresses, and phone numbers. I thought, “yeah, sure”. I mean to me she was a nice lady on a nice ride, discussing faith, values, music and humour.

Turns out, I got about 3 phone calls a day, snail and emails, when I got back in Washington, and the rest is probably known. I was married on the 5th of November 2004. I didn’t think I would really ever be married once again. I didn’t have to get married again, yet I thank GOD for her.

What do I want to be when I grow up? Old and happy. Hey! I am already there.

A person just doesn’t know what may come next.

25 May 2005

So what happened with Kathy? This is the 15th anniversary of my mom’s death. I sit back and remember the good times and do some laughing with joy, believe it or not.

Kathy… well some of you will be happy, because I failed again. I loved the girl, and tried to put some resemblance of order into life. I have some health problems that require me to have a ‘no stress’ life style. Can’t negotiate that. Believe it or not, I was the calm one, and did try here BIG time. That was then.

This is now. Kathy has gone on to Minnesota, today, to live with her ex-husband. The way she talked, I am surprised it isn't the ex-boyfriend. Both her "X's" are something. The hubby had a shot gun to her head, battered her around a lot. The ex-boyfriend of seven years didn't pay attention to her and also hit her a lot.

Me? I don't hit girls, and tried reasoning. It's difficult sometimes to get into a relationship after someone has been abused, because they never seem able to give it up, without help.

The last four nights alone have been hell.

She has failed to take care of her depression, and alcoholism (I really don’t care for a lady who drinks). She promised to take care of these things while in Wyoming, yet refusing since being up here in August 2004. Couple that into being untrustworthy and lying all of the time over small things, and it deteriorated quickly, with about two major incidents every week.

I didn't flirt once around her, or behind her back with other girls, either.

She got brought home drunk a few times, by Police (once purposely on Sabbath evening and Passover to spite me, as she admitted). She tried to write checks on my account (her name wasn't on them). She used the computers at my work to con her ex, and others, running up some bills. She purposely overdosed on over the counter things (e.g. St John's Wart medications, my prescription sleep tablets), running around like a zombie on speed. I guess the final straw was when she cursed and threatened to hit the cat, Silly. But there was more to that than just these things.

See, I won't give someone crap, unless... when I get it I walk away. No sense in me making someone or myself miserable.

My writings ARE me in real life.

I wish Kathy the best. She is a great cook.

So, there you go, I am such a loser, eh? Well, there is this nice 35 year old girl, with the Christened name of Charity. Charity is half Irish and half Cherokee, a half breed such as myself. She likes me, I like her and we see each other. Nothing heavy there. Not many people want an old guy (Stara Gee) who is eccentric.

So Charity is the rebound from Kathy? Or was Kathy the rebound from Danielle? I don't know, but I do know that I am 'clear' in the head.

So at about 11 AM PST today, 10 June 2005, I get this E mail from Kathy. Apparently she tried to overdose herself on Vodka last night in Minn. , supposedly died, and had to be revived. She claims that she has heart failure now. Man, her kids (who she claimed to visit) must be proud of her.

She also claims that she now knows that she has dementia. That is a hard one, to actually know when you have it.

Although, I can understand that. I started to get sick around 1 November 2002. I was walking around wheezing, unable to catch a breath. I had difficulty in getting up 17 steps. All the time I thought I had the flu. It wasn’t. I was diagnosed as having had two or three silent heart attacks, and heart failure.

Funny how I didn't party since 1998 (my last drink was with Bobchi 28 May 1998), and was working for a so called 'christian' rescue mission. You would think there would be no stress. Nope, that wasn't the case.

And I did find myself not enjoying anything. I’m tired but sleep was no good, and staying awake was no good. Everything seemed to irritate me. Nothing made sense and nothing got put together. The heart was not pumping enough oxygen to the brain, and I started to retain fluids, to the tune of 50 lbs. of fluid weight gain. This lasted until June 2003. Part of the reason I stayed off the HG page. I pissed a lot of people off, all the while knowing nothing much. That era is a blank.

So, the thing is, Kathy refused to get help out here for things. Washington State is the most socialistic and liberal state when it comes to hunger and medical benefits. They give it out right from day one. And, she had been diagnosed with severe sleep, depression, alcoholism and short-term memory problems, since 1990.

It was beyond “hard to deal with”.

Maybe I’m not such a loser after all? You the reader can decide, but I don’t care. I'm still old and happy.

14 July 2005 - Thursday

I met this nice girl last week (6 July). Her name is Sonia (47) from Hungary. She was visiting her son in British Columbia. So she comes down on a visit with a church group.

Pretty nice and we did have a good time. She spent a lot of time around me, and I enjoyed it. She had to go back on Monday (11 July), of which I saw her off.

Okay, so between yesterday and this morning, she is telling me she needs information for - get this, a marriage visa. I mean, she was supposed to return to visit, but this is not what I had in mind. I mean, after 5 days, she is beginning to monogram towels?

She is ballistic because I 'dared' to tell her no. She also told me that I am a murderer. Her reason was because I "killed love". Cool, so there you go.

I had to block her Email, and Instant Messenger name on my list. Two more calls came this morning and I just hang up.

Man, I tell ya, I must have something! I mean a guy my age to have what a woman wants - a work permit and green card.

So you don't have to wonder why I am single and free in 2005? It's safer.

So then, today is 29 July 2005. I received the judge's restraining order in the mail against Kathy yesterday. Seems her "X" hubby is tired of screwing her, and she once again has nowhere to go. She now wants to come back to work things out. There is nothing to work out. She has been contacting friends of mine and saying these crazy things, also.

So then, according to Washington State law, I am free of her legally on 23 August 2005. That is a Tuesday. I have the 6 pack (Coke A Cola) all ready to celebrate.

Okay, so that was fun.

Isn't there one nice girl who would want ...? I didn't think so.

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